Limerence
by Kiraloverless
Summary: Eddward is inspired by the Valentines he received from May, to later start a study on how love works. Taking notes of his progress he falls for a boy! after a while the notebook's much larger content is at risk of other's eyes and eventually stolen/ taken by said boy. Kevedd story -long story- M content for much later events that take place -none yet-.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Limerence 1  
**Author:** kiraloverless  
**Fandom:** Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy  
**Setting:** Cul-de-sack  
**Pairing:** Kevin/Edd  
**Genre:**  
**Rating:** T  
**Chapters:** 1  
**Type of Work:** Multi Chapter story  
**Status:** Incomplete  
**Warnings:**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Ed Edd n Eddy belongs to cartoon network and Danny Antonucci

Author's note: I do not own the cartoon Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy. Danny Antonucci and his gang have full credit for creating the program. I'm just a grown up fan  
Ed, Edd n Eddy Parallel Universe where cartoons characters live beyond the years where their programs stopped and grow into a modern world where their fans who watched them grow up to be real people. This story is a number of things including a boys love story, high school bullying, cliques and heart ache, a study of who love and relationships are hard. Double d starts a 'search' or 'experiment' to understand why the kanker sisters, and a lot of girls are always chasing boys (back in the 1910's at least).  
This is an actual research/experiment that I'm doing because I have a crush that rejected me a few years back and ... yeah. So Since I love kevedd so damn much I've decided to infect my love of are and writing onto my favorite fandom and make it into something beautiful. January 25. 2015 - I feel so old right now T^T

Friday, October 23. 2009 Note book #1 , Study of human affection and causes.  
Objective: Determining and explaining the reason behind the human emotion known as 'love' or being in love.

Contributing factors: junior high, small community of Peach Creek, age 14, Valentines note from May and inspiration to explore this field of human phycology.

To begin this experiment I'm going to reflect on the history and story behind the festive holiday Valentines day, February 14. As I have studied a book from the school library I have taken a few notes to draw out some conclusions.  
A) It was established as a feast to celebrate the liberty of love  
B) Today it is celebrated by many countries in more than one way  
C) It is a time to share ones feelings with that special someone and let them know you care  
E) Gifts, cards, flowers and chocolate are common gifts to be exchanged between people

The card May gave to me; exhibit A; is a simple piece of paper with drawings and colored glitter, sprayed with perfume and a personal lips stick kiss mark. It was cute. During the next two days May had redirected her attention towards Ed again, leaving me to ponder the thought, with questions.  
Has May forgotten about the affection she had for me? Sarah as well? What is it that Marie finds so attractive about me? And if so what is it that attracts Nazz to Kevin but not to me?

These questions were buzzing in my mind leading me to conduct this experiment.

For this to work I have chosen to except the fact that it could get messy. But for the sake of science and knowing more about the unknown I'm willing to get a little tangled up. That is not to say that I'll except Marie's feelings and surrender to her, but I'm going to find out what is it that drives people crazy for the sake of amuor.

Objectives and goals : to interview and collect data, analyze and documents my findings. My goal is to control the emotions and redirect it's energy. I expect it to be relatively easy.

I have three targets in mind for this experiment, Nazz, Marie and Eddy.  
Logic:  
Nazz: Has little to no attraction or interest in me. She is also attractive and has the attention of nearly every boy at our school. She mainly spends time with Kevin and is otherwise not available.  
Marie: Expresses a large interest in me -disturbingly so-. She is safe to say knows what she like and dislikes and can help me direct my search as an ally.  
Eddy: He has a crush on Nazz and can help me determine what he likes about her, and for the most part about ladies in general. He is my good friend and I trust his judgment -for the most part-. He has also stolen my first kiss, which I have yet to enquire him about ...

Relationship studies : The dynamics of a relationship between two people, a crush where one person has feelings about another. love hate relationships. Siblings and family. what makes or breaks a relationship and finally same sex relationships.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Limerence 2  
**Author:** kiraloverless  
**Fandom:** Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy  
**Setting:** Cul-de-sack  
**Pairing:** Kevin/Edd  
**Genre:**  
**Rating:** T  
**Chapters:** 2  
**Type of Work:** Multi Chapter story  
**Status:** Incomplete  
**Warnings:**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Ed Edd n Eddy belongs to cartoon network and Danny Antonucci

As yesterday was Valentine's Day, a joy of celebration I was excited to begin my experiment and collect my new findings.

With the example of May's letter to me last year I had suggested to the principle that perhaps circulating valentines exchange at Noor would lift the students spirit and perhaps be a good contribution to everyone receiving a little kindness. She had agreed to it, and it happened according to plan. I could use the anonymous crush method to observe my target's reactions. And I could also send Ed and Eddy some kindness without their knowledge.

I sent a few dummy valentines chocolates with a note to, Marie, Nazz, Sarah, Eddy, Ed and Kevin.

From their reactions I concluded:  
Sarah was exited about the attention but was confused when she learned it wasn't jimmy, as a result she was upset?  
Nazz was over joyed with the gifts "totally wanna meet this guy" was her response.  
Marie flaunted her gifts in front of her sisters resulting in a fight, then eventually hunted me down recognizing my hand writing. I learned this I can never forget, my poor virgin eyes.  
Jimmy was very pleased with his gifts, but was curious to know who had sent it. Once learning it was not Sarah he had felt a little depressed.

I realize that perhaps my experiment could cause hurt as well as joy. Love is a complicated emotion.

Kevin was well... Expecting? Since a large number of girls had sent him offerings of affection, my decoy had not prospered with any results.

Eddy, of course pretended to have also been expecting gifts from a number of girls. What surprised me was that my decoy was not the only offering he had received. The potential of someone interested in Eddy was a little surprising. But once a certain red haired Kanker smelled competition, Eddy was otherwise ... Doomed.

Ed had also shared a similar fate but had avoided it by de peering the chocolate and unfortunately. The letters as well... It was also unfruitful to my findings.

What struck my by surprise was Rolf's receivings. Apparently the female species was attracted to him being foreign. This I found interesting. I was even lucky enough to have the chance to read them and explain them to him. And near the end in one letter I found what was truly genuine. It said: if you want to meet me I'll be waiting outside the east exit oxox

My heart fluttered. I wanted to witness a true face to face confession of love! If I could somehow be there but be unnoticed I might find the answer to my questions!

But unfortunately, that window of opportunity had slipped away while I spent an hour after school in detention scrubbing off the remains of my two friends paint war in the art room. Perhaps next time.

The reason why Valentine's Day excites me so much is because of the chance the that special someone in your life could become a bigger part of your adventure in life. Of course, too much affection can also be troublesome. Sarah and jimmy might just be old enough to understand more mature emotions, I hope. Nazz and Kevin mostly except each other as their significant other but enjoy a little extra attention. The Kanker sisters, I believe hold great affection for Ed, Eddy and I. Eddy I believe desires attention but not commitment, where as Ed wants nothing to do with any emotions apart from his love of Family and friends. I believe he is simply very shy.  
As for Rolf, I have yet to determine why had taken Valentine's Day negatively. Although last year's events he had rescued us all from regrettable behaviors, I should hope that he also has a soft spot for love?

I myself have received three gifts from other people than Marie, of course I did not let her find them. At lunch I had read them and analyzed them. They were very sweet, but all were singed "your secret crush"  
At first I was happy to get such wonderful gifts, but then I found myself curious to find out who they are. I feel that it is nice to know someone cares about you, but it saddens me not to be able to thank them or return my appreciation. Suppose this person really had deep emotions twirls another, by never coming forth they could never claim their happiness.

Why cause your self pain for the sake of a loved one only to gain nothing from it?

I gather, that letting them know is worth it? Is making them happy with or without you in person. That is love I think.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Limerence 3  
**Author:** kiraloverless  
**Fandom:** Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy  
**Setting:** Cul-de-sack  
**Pairing:** Kevin/Edd  
**Genre:**  
**Rating:** T  
**Chapters:** 3  
**Type of Work:** Multi Chapter story  
**Status:** Incomplete  
**Warnings:**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Ed Edd n Eddy belongs to cartoon network and Danny Antonucci

I have noted a few changes and developments between my friends and fellow neighbors within the past month since Valentines day.

Perhaps nothing really but within my observation Nazz has approached me with a rather difficult question. "Dude, do you have any idea how I can figure out who sent me this valentines card? I mean why wouldn't he just come up to me?"  
Her words were hard to get around to answer without being caught. She seamed desperate so I answered "I'm afraid I can't help you Nazz, Unfortunately the person who wrote you this card doesn't want you to meet yet. You'll just have to be patient or give up waiting"

It wasn't a complete lie, but I truly hate deceiving my friends. Since Nazz considers me as such.

"If I may ask, who do you hope it might be from?" I asked out of curiosity.  
I wasn't surprised to learn, that she had hoped it was from Kevin. Since a very young age they have been very close, and given the fact that they are very suitable for each other I doubt they will chose to find interest in anyone else.

But I was rather shocked at her answer. "Oh, well... nobody really, but I thought maybe that new kid Gavin, you know the new baseball kid."

"Excuse me Nazz, Perhaps I'm a little confused. Don't you mean Kevin? You hope that Kevin had asked you to be his Valentines?"

"Um, Listen, can I trust you with a secret?" When she leaned in to whisper in my ear, my heart had fluttered at the smell of her perfume.

"Of course! I swear to never tell a soul of anything you share with me!"

"Ok, so.. Kevin is cute and all but, all he thinks about it his bike. He's so awkward and clueless, I mean he knows I like him and all so why is he acting so childish?"

After listening to her reason's I realized that Kevin had indeed always acted strange about taking an actual step toward Nazz. If Kevin were to continue acting reluctant he might lose Nazz to someone else!

I somehow felt a little guilty for causing Nazz to shift her attention form Kevin to Gavin and now I feel terribly guilty about it.

"You know Nazz, Kevin might simply be very shy and confused about how to approach you with his feelings."

As there was a long pause in our conversation I noted that the smell of a person might be harboring feelings for could be a reason, or trigger to feel a little flustered and have a racing heartbeat. Maybe it's the strong desire to be excepted and fear of being suddenly rejected that spikes the adrenaline in the blood.

"I like Kevin, but we have been friends since we were kids, you know! we are like siblings and I can't really see him that way.. " Nazz's statement made perfect sense. Many children play house and or husband and wife but it has very little long term effect. Children sometimes ask if it's ok to marry a family member, and are devastated learning that love simply doesn't work that way. Nazz seams to be growing out of that phase she shared with Kevin, whom she sees as more of a family member.

Maybe my gesture of a valentines at random could be the cause of a good change for her? Although I'm not sure how it will work out for Kevin.

*More information needs to be gathered about this*

"Nazz, if I may. How do you think Kevin would feel about this? Don't you think he would be very upset when he finds out?"

Kevin had just happened to step in front of us from around a corner. A heavy gut feeling in my stomach was causing my face to pale and feel a cold sweat run over my back, making my shirt stick to the skin. " ...Oh my!"

"...I can't believe you'd betray me like this double d." Kevin's face held the expression of great pain. "Just promise me you'll take care of her. Or else I'll give you such a beating you'll never forget!"

I was confused.

"Kev wait it's not what you think it is!" Nazz had yelled trying to gain his attention but He had taken off much to fast.

The conflict seamed to be taken out of proportion. "Nazz, please. Let Kevin be for a little while. You have a huge decision to make. Are you going to pursue your interest in Gavin? or Kevin?" Nazz stopped and turned to me. "I .. I don't know"

I observed that Kevin's feelings for Nazz were only half developed. Nazz's feeling for Kevin is also only half developed. They both like each other, but neither of them want to be know weather or not know if they want a romantic relationship. Kevin retreated very quickly when he assumed Nazz and I were sharing an intimate moment. The reason behind that is because he truly loves her, but he's very reluctant, It could be that he may also be growing out of a childish phase and only hopes for her happiness.

I feel sorry for Kevin, but at the same time, happy for Nazz.

I will help Kevin get through the heartache in anyway I can, since I am at fault. But the safety of my life forbids me from ever letting him know of my contribution to the matter, or my research.

It seams I have weaved a bed of lies. Not lies... more like a bit of trouble. But I truly believe it'll work out for the best.

Later that day Nazz had talked to Kevin and told him about her attraction to Gavin. That she and I were not an item, and that she was sorry for the way he had learned about it.

Although it had been resolved between them, I was still glared at from time to time for the past three weeks by him.

Nazz and I have begun to talk more frequently, slowly letting my person into their social circle. Eddy being a jealous person hates that I have befriended Nazz and spend so much time with her. As much as I worry about his temper, I am enjoying her attention and growing trust in me. Although the false valentines still lingers on the front lobe of my mind I will not stop for the sake of my study.

*Note to self ; keep notes in a locked notebook*


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Limerence 4  
**Author:** kiraloverless  
**Fandom:** Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy  
**Setting:** Cul-de-sack  
**Pairing:** Kevin/Edd  
**Genre:**  
**Rating:** T  
**Chapters:** 4  
**Type of Work:** Multi Chapter story  
**Status:** Incomplete  
**Warnings:**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Ed Edd n Eddy belongs to cartoon network and Danny Antonucci

Limerence 4

It has been a while since my last entry. School is proving to be more and more of a challenge. I was moved to a higher grade due to the fact that the classes was simply too easy for me. Ms. Green Is still my homeroom teacher, but I hardly get to see my fellow Ed's in class anymore. It's lonesome but at the very least I can study in more peace.

Mid terms have passed allowing me some time to collect my findings as of late. Rolf has taken a liking to a girl and perhaps agreed to become a couple?

I trust that Eddy will find a mature moment when the right person comes along. I'm only concerned for his wellbeing regarding Lee's patience. She and her sisters have advanced even more than before.

While the girls have been chasing the boys, and the boys secretly enjoying the attention, I took some time to observe a poor victim of my little experiment, Kevin had been moping around for god knows how long. He refused to speak to anyone but Rolf, When I had tried to ask Rolf what was wrong with him I couldn't make any sense of what he meant. I was lost and for once, clueless as to what to do next.

So I approached Gavin, The boy whom Nazz was now interested in, and asked him if he would go and ask Nazz out. He was bashful but was glad to learn of her interest. As I knew Nazz was more than willing to accept I could use the time to … talk to Kevin? Ask how he was doing and so on.

Unfortunately Kevin was, simply … out of my grasp.

So I resorted to Eddy.

"Would you mind telling me what you would do if someone you liked suddenly asked you out on a date?"

We were constructing some kind of ship, the question had been rolling around in my mind and I had hoped for a more coherent answer from my friend.

"Um… just I dunno .. depends on the girl I guess."

"Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'?"

"Why would it matter who the person is, regardless of their feelings for you?"

"… Uh.. I would never go out with a girl like Lee Kanker. But I'd go out with Nazz"

So it was a matter of preference. But I needed a better reason.

"Why not Lee? Apart from the fact that she has heavily pursued you for a long time-as both Ed and I have been by Marie and May-, What attracts you to Nazz. Is she not female as the others?"

"You know what? Lets just forget about the Kankers, Nazz and any other dames ok! What's wrong with you lately anyway?"

"Double D is curious about his valentines crush, Eddy!"

Ed reasoned out of the blue.

"What are you talking about, Double D is not a ladies man. No offence, but you're just too skinny and too smart, it scares the girls away." Eddy concluded on his own. While making a mess of my tools as he passed around to the other side of his new 'money maker' as he put it.

I was faced with another conundrum, lie to my friends and have them believe I was in fact desirable, by showing the gifts I had received for valentines and have a good cover for my experiment. Or tell them I was not and have reason for suspicious questions.

"Lets go home, I'm tiered. C'mon lumpy"

Or simply let them completely forget about it all together and would be even better.

As I had shown them out, I leaned agents the door frame watching them go. Letting a moment pass with the cold night air to ghost over my being and into the house, as I contemplated the progress I had managed to gain so far. What would come of this experiment? Who would it benefit? Would we have better control of our emotions if said feelings were better understood?

Or why Kevin had suddenly appeared to be standing at my doorstep staring at me staring into the sky?

"You know I always thought you guys were smoking something to make you act so weird"

"Good heavens, No! I was thinking, Deep in thought.. I.. didn't see you there. Was there something you needed from me Kevin?"

"Stay away from Nazz, Double dork. I don't know what you and Eddy are up to but you don't have to drag her into your little plans"

"Kevin I assure you, Eddy and I are not planning anything at all. There really is no reason for you to be so upset .."

"Can it!

I saw you talking to her, I saw you talk to that kid Gavin, and then I saw him ask her out. I know you're behind it all."

"Kevin please, It's not what you think." But Kevin was so upset he had grabbed my arm and was holding it firm behind my back. Afraid he might easily break my arm in his temper I decided to talk with him.

"Kevin please…listen to me, Nazz was already interested in Gavin. She is not interested in you anymore than a friend, more like a brother. I had nothing to with how she feels, please listen to reason."

"Nazz is mine. She wouldn't just go off with some random dude just because of a valentines card!"

I was going to have to make him understand the hard way.

"Nazz asked me to help her get close to Gavin! She wants a man who isn't afraid of showing his emotions. Even if you were to show your feelings she would still only think of you as a family member. The truth is that she, like all woman are attracted to interests, personality and the courage to make a move."

Kevin was tightly gripping my arm, not to hurt me, but because it was difficult for him to hear. There was a tremble, I couldn't tell if it was fear, pain or anger. But he was listening.

"Nazz, doesn't belong to you, or anyone. I know that you loved her, but… there is someone out there for you."

"No. No, there isn't"

"Of course there is. You're a wonderfully handsome, fit young man. Any number of women would love to be your partner."

"Shut up dork"

Kevin had punched me quite hard on the right side of my back. I cried out in a gasp, as all air left my body. Letting me go as he ran off I had doubled over in pain. Nothing was broken but it did hurt like a son of a gun. The cold air was slightly soothing, but the heartbreak in Kevin's voice burned guilt into my chest that did more than enough to compensate.

This was not how I pictured the outcome of the evening. If only things had turned out a little differently.

I shuffled over to the kitchen to place an ice pack over the now darkening bruised area and sat down. "He didn't have to hit me so hard." I mumbled to my self.

It had occurred to me, how much more pain I would be in if Kevin learned of the real truth.

The whole ordeal would go away, if I could find a girl for him. Someone who was kind and gentle and could ease his hot temper.

That night I had gone to bed, gazing out my window, watching across the street, and into Kevin's bedroom window as he took out his anger on a punching bag an infinite amount of times before turning out the lights for the night.

I was very thankful I had only received one of those punches.

If only I could fix this somehow.

Note to self:

*Ask Jimmy how to cope with Sarah's bad temper*

*Keep note book as far away from Kevin as humanly possible. *


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Limerence 5  
**Author:** kiraloverless  
**Fandom:** Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy  
**Setting:** Cul-de-sack  
**Pairing:** Kevin/Edd  
**Genre:**  
**Rating:**  
**Chapters:** 5  
**Type of Work:** Multi Chapter story  
**Status:** Incomplete  
**Warnings:**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

Limerence 5

The next morning proveded fruitful.

Eddy had stopped by in the morning unexpectedly saying he needed to talk.

"Would you like to join me for breakfast, Eddy?"

"Yeah, sure.. Got any of those bagels?" He asked as he shimmied up a kitchen bar stool, propping up his chin on his palm. He looked a little troubled.

"Something wrong Eddy?" asking, but hoping nothing would be his answer.

"I'm just…wondering something. Can I see your valentines card?"

This seams a little troubling…I had hoped my friends would let go of this topic.

"Why Eddy?"

"Because Lumpy showed me his card, and the hand writing looks exactly the same. I think someone is playing a joke on us."

This was bad… If Eddy finds out it was me who wrote those letters, he would be so upset with me.

"Of course! Just a moment and I'll be right back"

Luckily, I had three others. Eddy would have to find his vindication elsewhere. Well, Actually he couldn't… I highly doubt anyone would share their cards' with Eddy.

"Here, I actually received three this year. How many did you get?"

I let Eddy look over the letters and ponder his thoughts for a moment.

"Yeah, I actually got seven, you know how the ladies are, can't keep their hands off me!"

Lier, I know for a fact that's not true. But, as long as he's satisfied with that, I can just ponder on things of my own concern. Letting Eddy talk I questioned why it was so important to him that he bragged about how many valentines he got. Eddy held high the way others thought about him, even when they didn't think much of him he believed otherwise.

It was not just Eddy, Rolf had also taken great pride in bragging rights.

_People liking you was something you had to work hard at to be that proud?_

It didn't make sense.

"Eddy, I'd like to ask you something, and please answer me this time."

_Proof that it can be gained and not to be a failure. Maybe, that's why it was so important. Would it also be the reason to go after a girl of high standers? The bigger the prey the greater the catch or 'statues' in this case._

He was nearly half way out my front door when I stopped him. He waited for my question patiently but I changed my mind about asking him.

"Never mind. I'll see you later, Eddy. Thank you for joining me for breakfast. It was quite pleasant."

"Later"

Watching him trudge over to his own house I felt guilt in my chest. If I had asked him those things, I would have hurt my best friend's feelings. For the sake of my research, an experiment. It might be best to set a rule agents asking hurtful things like that for the future.

Looking across the street to Kevin's house, then Nazz's and Rolf's I realized that I could never really tell any of them what I was really doing. It wouldn't matter anyway, once I had finished and packed up my work. I'd just have to be careful.

There was something about the way emotions worked that made people act completely differently from their normal selves. I wanted to know why, and without realizing it had been sucked into it myself.

" I think it would be best to call one of those girls and see what I can learn. But I don't have their name's or numbers." Mumbling to myself, I took a deep breath and went back inside.

Collecting the letters off the kitchen table I read them over mindlessly as I walked upstairs to shower before my day started. Under the steaming water fall I could think more clearly.

"I'd like to see what a date would be like. what's the standard? what's acceptable?"

It accord to me that I did not know how to date… It couldn't be that hard after all, girls are mostly lovey dovy and nice.. well, from what I know of Nazz. But It wouldn't hurt to try and see what happens. Was it all women wanted was to cuddle and talk about the future, with a home, husband and children? The answer to that was Yes. _I think._

Was it all men wanted to have the same things? Yes again. _I believe._

_If everyone is after the same thing, why is there so much pressure on dating? It makes no sense. _

Then why did it matter who the person you had children with?

There was something that would ultimately answer my question.

In my notebook I scribbled down these questions and pondered the answers. Setting at my planning desk and drinking some tea I thought for sure I needed to observe more people's reactions and reasons.

But for now I needed to breath. Gathering a bag and a few nets I snuck around the corner, down the ally to the creek. I found a good spot under a tree and sat with my toes bare to the grass feeling the sun warm them. There were a few butterflies in the area but none I was interested in catching, so I continued to write. The scratching of the pencil on paper was soothing and I couldn't stop. Realizing what I was writing I blushed heavily and closed the notebook. Taking a moment to decide to take a swim in the creek and leaving all my clothes folded under the shade.

I was unaware of what had happened as everything was so fast.

Kevin was watching me. He must have followed me to the creek! He was reading the notebook!

My heart had thumped and fumbled in my chest, threatening to put my heart to rest if it pounded any harder.

"Don't read that!" I screamed reaching for it out of his hands but he was too quick for me.

I feared for my own well being at that moment. Without hesitating I picked up a rock and slammed it onto Kevin's foot. The sudden pain made him howl dropping the notebook and giving me just enough time to pick it up and run. Abandoning my clothes, shoes and hat.

"You are so dead double dweeb!" He yelled after me. reaching my front door and slamming it closed Leaning back onto it and calming my breathing I noticed the mud and dirt I had brought into the house.I couldn't believe I had done that but I felt a joy knowing that I had avoided a near beating tragedy. Skimming through it quickly I noticed a page was missing! Or rather half a page… Entry of March 15th It was the page I had written about the first day of the experiment. As I recall, there was nothing really important for him to read that would damage my work, or risk threatening the others with the information of me sending them notes.

But … what if he had a chance to read something else?

_He wasn't there long so of course he wouldn't be able to read so much in so little time_.

Taking the time to shower again, clean up the mess of muddy footsteps, I thought about something I should have done in the first place. The notebook's contents were moved to one with a lock and key. This was a bullet dodged, but would I be lucky enough a second time? The bruise on my back throbbed at the memory of being hit. We were even now -in terms of physical damages-, but I'm afraid I'll regret it later.

….In the evening...

There was a knock on the backdoor. Kevin had come over to my house before sun set and handed back the torn paper. And seamed otherwise…. Passive. He asked calmly what I was writing.

It was near useless to hide. When I had asked him to drop it he insisted. I figured it would be best just to get it over with and explain. So I invited him to sit with me for a cup of hot chocolate.

He sat on the back porch and waited. Once I had brought out the locked notebook and two warm cups outside I sat and asked about his foot.

"Tell me about that notebook dork! You've been carrying it around for a while now and … I don't get what you were writing ... like some kind of spy...so... start explaining." It wasn't like Kevin to hold in his anger.

I heavily sighed. "Kevin you don't need to know what I've been writing."

When he snatched the locked notebook from my hands I grabbed for it again.

"Kevin please let go!"

"Just show me dork!"

Luckily I had the key in hiding.

"I knew it! you and Eddy are planing something!"

"Kevin it's my diary! For heaven's sake you can't read it!"

After a while of a stalemate battle, he let go and gave up.

"I am really starting to feel something fishy. But it makes sense why you don't want anyone to read it…. I mean I don't think I've ever seen you that naked before" I must have been completely red in embarrassment since he laughed

"You should have seen your face! You jumped out of the water but naked!"Kevin continued to laugh.

It seamed very uncharacteristic for Kevin to let his guard down, even if he was laughing at me. But it was comforting to a change in his domineer of -refusing to speak to anyone-.

"You had no reason to do that. I promise you that Eddy and I are not planing anything. I was simply reflecting on my valentines experience that day as I had surprisingly received a number of confessions.  
As for why I have been carrying it around much is because it brought me joy to see that my friends were also so lucky. I had talked to the principle to allow the new change in the school's student responses"

"why?" He asked a little surprised.

"...I think that everyone deserves a little kindness, Kevin. That's all"

We sat and talked for a little night was cool and quite, but is was warm sitting next to Kevin with our half cups of hot chocolate. Cozy.

_Cozy?_

_Cozy? with Kevin? this day is just too strange._

"Hey double dweeb, Do you really think Nazz doesn't want me anymore?"

"That's harsh to say about yourself, but...Yes.. I am sorry to say that she has moved on in her interests. She loves you as a friend, but I don't believe you should heavily rely on her affections. Romance between friends...wouldn't be for the best"

He sighed sadly. Poor fellow.

" I was so sure she was the one"

"I'm sorry, Kevin." I really felt guilty. My apology ran deeper than he realized.

It seamed to me, that Kevin's interest in my note had died down once I said it was personal.  
"We ... are worried about you... not talking to anyone... I've read that a person suffering from depression should have someone to talk to ...If you want to talk... I'd be more than happy to help you, so please allow me to give you assistance when needed."

A few moments passed before he stood, clenching his fists at his sides.

_Was he going to punch me for thinking him vulnerable?_

I began to stand and back away slowly, my heart beat a mile a minute, the image of those fists beating a punching bag the few nights before played again in my mind, fear was creeping up on me.

"Can I meet you here tomorrow?"

"Yes.. of course..but"

Kevin had already gone.

"..tomorrow then..." I said to the phantom presence.

Letting out the breath I had been holding and leaning agents the wall thinking how paranoid I had been acting.  
"Calm down. he wasn't going to hit you"

Today's conclusion:  
In my close encounter with Kevin today I realized that rejection can take a heavy tole on a person's self esteem. If the person exhibits emotions for the person who has rejected them, they can tend to do irrational things, fall into deprecation and seek comfort in friends or family members for guidance.

_Kevin sees me as a friend?  
_  
Rejection can also be misinterpreted as failure in their minds, even if it is not true. As observed in Eddy's behavior Being accepted means that you have succeeded a make believe obstacle in finding companionship. Pressure of the mind makes this challenge realistic in human's nature to obtain 'possession' of statues.

_What id a person did not pressure themselves to 'beat everyone else' to this imaginary challenge? Would this person exhibit characteristics of taking rejection in a better way? in other words, would this person not be hurt by rejection? Rejection is not a threat. Rejection is acceptable. Rejection is expectable which means Rejection is...part of the cycle ..._

"That's it, the secrete to love is rejection! "

I quickly found a recorder and vocalized my conclusion.

"Rejection is the secrete to Love:  
By accepting that rejection is a reality both partners can theoretically let down the expectation of obtaining the highest score of a person's interests, Since everyone is equal in their thoughts in wanting companionship, it shouldn't matter how long they are together, but the quality of companionship that actually maters. fear of rejection drives the thoughts of joy to a minimum and the risk of losing or 'failing' to an all time high. the stress after rejection destroys self esteem thinking it is a megerment of value taken away from the person.  
If rejection can be accepted as a nonthreatening manner it cannot measure a person's value, leaving the rest of 'love' to focus on the relationship rather than the succeeding rate of the chalenge."

After listening to my own voice again I realized that it made perfect sense. It would be very interesting to meet such a person. Ask questions, if they did exist. Pacing my room with the near answer so close in my hand. there was still a long way to go but today had brought valuable information.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Limerence 6  
**Author:** kiraloverless  
** Account: ** u/6023476/  
**Fandom:** Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy  
**Setting:** Cul-de-sack  
**Pairing:** Kevin/Edd  
**Genre: **Hurt/comfort, some smexy in later chapters.  
**Rating:** T (M for later chapters)  
**Chapters:**  
**Type of Work:** Multi Chapter story  
**Status:** Incomplete  
**Warnings:**  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Ed Edd n Eddy belongs to cartoon network and Danny Antonucci

Kevin and I had a a misunderstanding cleared at the end of last week and since then he has visited my back yard three times. We have agreed to meet a few times a week as we talked over a snack on the back porch. Of course Eddy and Ed knew nothing of this arrangement as I'm sure it would only go sour. It was a golden opportunity for me to take notes on his behavior.

This time in particular he seamed preoccupied with rebuilding the club house in the tree that Ed had destroyed as a 'monster'. Said tree was a little ways past the houses and construction site. I drew up the planes for a sturdy structure while large dry wooden planks were collected. while we headed to the tree to start setting up and start rebuilding.

It was a project that we had bonded over. Surprisingly I had forgotten all about Eddy or Ed finding us. When the sun began to set we sat in the tree house sipping a juice box.

"You know, it's a real shame that your friends always mess things up c'uz you're a really good hang" Kevin said staring down at our dangling feet.

"I remember moving to the cul-de-sack before you did but I don't recall why it is that you an Eddy just don't get along"I felt as though I might have been crossing a line somewhere but I was genuinely curious.

He gave me a look of pure confusion. "You don't know why skipper and I are sworn enemies? For real man, I thought you'd be smarter than that."

"..." What was I missing?

"Ok so I'll tell ya, maybe you'll see it my way. I don't know if you remember this but Eddy's bro used to have a thing for stealing things. My parents warned me about that guy, he stole my bike and sold it for cash for some locks for his room right, and with the last bit if it bought Eddy a few jaw breakers if he'd forget about what he saw and keep his mouth shut. He was just a kid and so he went with it, but I'll never forget the two two timed cheat thief assistant."

"I see, well that would explain Eddy's irrational obsession with jawbreakers...I apologize for your misfortune Kevin, on behalf of Eddy's brother's horrible behavior."

We had started our way back to my house and I had noted Kevin's close proximity to myself as had offered to carry the tool box, But I insisted to carry it myself.

"Ok dork then we'll carry it together" He wouldn't let go of it and neither would I, that's when your hands brushed slightly. I had hoped he wouldn't notice but to my horror he did.

"Dork your hands are really cold!" Flailing suddenly I tripped loosing my balance. "My apologies, I didn't mean to touch .. I should have just carried it myself." helping me regain my balance he gave me a hard look, I flinched back on instinct. "Dude chill" we had stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before I had realized he wasn't as upset as I thought he would be.

Then he did something I never thought he'd ever do, he knelt over to check the scrape on my leg and asked if I was alright. It was a simple thing but for some reason my heart wouldn't stop fluttering. He left wishing me good night, closing the back door behind him. I cleaned and dressed the scrape and even after that I still felt the flutter in my chest. I couldn't under stand this.

It was nothing.

I'd been hurt much worse then this when all of Eddy's scams failed, when things went very very wrong and or when we were beaten up.

"There's no sense to keep thinking about nothing is there Eddward, Haven't you better things to occupy your time with?" I mumbled to myself as I went upstairs to change and finish a science report, and write down my recent findings. The only problem was I had very little to go on.

Making my notes I had come to a dead end looking about the space of my room.

A thought came to mind.

Maybe I should have thought about it a little longer fore jumping to it but it was already done and too late to go back now.

I had switched off the lights and positioned my telescope at the window perfectly aligned to Kevin's room.

"I shouldn't be doing this"

What was it that drove me to do such a thing in the first place? Had I completely lost all reason? Instead of finishing my report I was now spying on my neighbors!

To my luck the room was dark when Kevin had looked out the window.

"It seams Eddy's influence on my behavior has gone south." I said to myself still watching as Kevin dressed and attempted to do homework before bed.

"What did I think I would learn by watching him sleep?" I was disappointed in myself to be honest. I looked around the quite sleeping cul-de-sack everyone was sleeping at that hour I presumed. Nazz was still awake, she was on the phone with a few curls in her hair while painting her nails.

"Who would she be talking to at this hour?" I questioned. I came to the conclusion that it was someone from school. Gavin? It had to be. From what I knew Gavin had asked her out on a date, but I only assumed Nazz had agreed to it. Looking back towards Kevin's room wondering how he must have felt about it I noticed a movement that had caught me off guard.

"Good lord!" I screeched realizing what my poor eyes had witnessed.

"Kevin was masterbating! Eddward you have fallen to a new vile low rank of humanity! Shame of on you!"

It was a mistake! I never meant to violate someone's privacy! Oh the shame, I'll never be able to look him in the face again.

I must have sat under my window stunned beyond all compare for at least twenty minutes. My face was heated and my hands shaking. Breathing slowly I decided that the best course of action would be to forget about seeing anything. Forget about the experiment and spying on my comrades.

"Just shower and go to bed Eddward. Nothing happened. It's perfectly normal for a person to conduct such actions in the sanctity of their own home. I have to calm down and forget about it."

The next morning I had asked her about it and she said that they were in fact going on a date that afternoon.

Eddy was very disappointed learning this. He had his hopes crushed again but I pretended not to notice his sullen face. There were more student's this year than last. I noticed an increase in the student body having made couples amongst themselves. It wasn't too long before Eddy was approached by his crush and he asked her to the school dance. I was also approached but I had the luxury of staying home with my friends distracted I could study in peace.

I was slightly saddened to see Kevin had also stayed home that night. I felt a little guilty but he was the captain of sports at our school he could have just gone with anyone he liked. Instead he chose to stay alone, perhaps needs space to think.

I sighed and put the thought behind me focusing on my work. Only once I had finished I permitted myself to look through my telescope at the neighbors.

To my own shame I had grown fond of watching Kevin sleep despite what I told myself. And how morally crippled I had become.

And so it went on for a month. I would spend my time with Ed and Eddy during the day and with Kevin a few times during the evening. Then I'd watch him from my bedroom window taking notes after the day had passed.


End file.
